Bits and pieces of my story (Raw)

 I let go of moments that are still scarring my heart. We were all informed recently that Sheena is getting married. The first thing that crossed my mind was whether he would be there or not. But above all else, if I should heed and attend it as well.  It all might not have any direct relations with dealing with things stuffed underneath (emotionally). But that reminds me, it would definitely bring back any memories in the wedding vibes I have had with him. I have neither been able to talk about the bad, painful parts of my story beside Satyam to anyone till date. At the same time, the other day, I almost mentioned the painful parts to Mellie. But then, believe it or not, I held back. It felt like it didn't matter, you know? Ever since we drifted apart, not a day has gone by without the need to fill this void, hollowness with other things.  My worst habits are the only way I know. But something's changed. Right after that one conversation with her the other day. It felt l...

 I AM HUMAN, A DREAMER, A BELIEVER AND ABOVE ALL, AN ACHIEVER. As a woman, with Cerebral Palsy in Mauritius, I have known a very testing struggle for my access to education. Few barriers to the inclusion of disabled people in societies are judgemental attitudes, scornful glances, a lack of compassion towards disabled persons, a lack of consideration and derogatory attitudes of non-disabled persons towards people with disabilities. Moreover, even if the academic approach has evolved towards a humanist perspective towards persons with disabilities. Prejudices and disempowering comments embedded in the socialization process and traditional models of disability still prevail. In this regard, I am confident about a shift in the approach towards educating folks with disabilities. To enable this shift, I want to engage with people across borders in reflexive and reflective practices. The sexuality of women and for some heavy and painful menstruation remains a taboo that I would want to a...

  Cher Journal, Je reconnais qu’encore une fois j’ai failli en ce qu’il s’agit de mes besoins émotionnels. Cette année a été une année rude pour moi au niveau santé, sentimental, psychologique ainsi que mental. Entre difficultés familiaux, le Covid-19 qui m’a mis a genoux priant pour la vie de ma mere, les sentiments de rages envahissants, entre l’amour sans retour que je porte encore pour Nickshaye, la confusion engendrée par le retour de Stewelderson dans ma vie, et le besoin d’avoir des communications sinceres et claires (surtout en ce qu’il s’agit d’amour, amitie, sexe ou crush), je me sens perdue. Je ne suis toujours pas sûre d’avoir tous les mots requis afin d'écrire tout ce qui pèse si lourd sur mon cœur. Mais je voudrais quand même essayer de trouver mon chemin. Pour commencer, le retour de mon frère aîné Christophe nous a tous d’une manière ou d’une autre poussé à chambouler nos quotidiens. Je m’explique. Bien que, nous avons tous consenti à cette réconciliation entre Papa...

 This one, if I make it out fine, I would like to dedicate it to the divine mother, SHIVA AND SHAKTI, and to the purest of forms of Devi, Devtas I have known. My name is Natacha, and the following is my story. I was born in 1997. Precisely, on the 25th of April 1997. As far as I can recall, my childhood was filled with health challenges (placed in an iincubator at birth. Reportedly been underweight 1.4 kgs) as well as barriers to my survival.  First and foremost, I was born with a condition commonly known as cerebral palsy. However, despite it all, when I reflect back at my life journey, I can see different versions of myself. For instance, back when I was a child, I, too, did not necessarily feel burdened by the condition. I remember how, I used to participate actively in school. I liked to participate a lot when it came to ideas sharing, back in school. I was often referred as the bubbly, sweet and talkative girl back in school. As a child, my main hobbies included watching ...

I  really hoped it will prove meant to be. I will be honest here, despite medical confusions I always knew deep down that I was meant to be the best version of myself, and if I am to be honest my thought to be unreasonable and futile decision back then proved to create wonders inside of me. So let's get to that. Maybe it will help you see clearer. When we broke up, he blamed everything on me. At some point those blame games had gotten the best of me. The guilt tripping became so strong and toxic that I almost believed him when he said that we weren't working because I wasn't making any efforts to walk out of that bloody wheelchair and be with him. P.S. To quote those were his exact words. Offensive! I know, but hang on. So yup. I believed him. In my sincere wish to be with him, I just remember saying I'll do it. Yes I did, and believe me at start I really thought that this would make him stay. My family and I have struggled hard through options of physiotherapy and othe...